I'm No Superman
The inspiration to write does not come easily to me. Participating in a blog with my wife is almost ironic on some levels; not a great sharer, not a great writer, and my follow through on such things leaves something to be desired. Figuring out what to write about, also, is a challenge, one that I'm not sure I will always be up to. My guess is my wife will post more than I will. My guess is I will respond to comments, feedback (and our soon to come forum) and do admin tasks more than she will. Like all things, this will be a balancing act and delegation of duties, not unlike our marriage ; ) As some of you are aware, I’m spending a good deal of time on FB. I'm finding solace there with my fellow Parkinson's peeps. There was a post last night that got my attention and inspires me to write today. It was as follows:
David G. wrote... My mom got diagnosed a week ago she is doing amazing on her medication and she is in very good spirits. But me, I am so sad and so worried all the time like all day. I can’t stop thinking about it and what the future might bring. I am angry I feel guilty like if I laugh at something or happy at some point during the day I feel like I shouldn’t be happy or laughing at anything cause my mom is sick. I don’t know what to do how do I deal with this. Is this normal?
That's a caregiver’s valid take on something that I have experienced in the early days of my diagnosis, and that is this: I'm not sad, I'm not depressed, I'm not unhappy... I'm not even a little scared... Yet! One would think it odd. But honestly, with C/L my body and possibly my brain are feeling great now. Better than I have felt in years.
My Tremor is gone, the rigidity is gone, my mind seems a tad bit clearer and overall I'm feeling a bit like Superman. I felt like crap for so long and didn't know why, having a name, PD, is almost soothing/reassuring. ‘Know thy enemy’ and all that noise:-) My point being, I guess just don't be surprised if your PD peep doesn't act like an individual with PD. Between the Dx and the meds, and I know this is crazy talk, it almost feels good to have Parkinson's. I get this won't last. I get it. I'm not naïve…dystonia, dyskinesia, cognition issues, not being able to feed myself… I get this is coming down the pipes. Yet, *cliché alert* I'm trying to focus on the Here and Now and making the best of what I have at the moment. We got this my PD peeps!